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Loose bedside inventory

This is a strange, experimental essay composed over winter break

One white cap, striated, counter-clockwise, childproof. One inch, three tenths, twenty hundredths and seven thousandths in diameter, seven tenths, eighty hundredths and one thousandth in height. Twenty-four extra-strength Excedrin, caplets. Seven hundred ninety-four thousandths in length. Three hundred eighty five thousandths in width. Two hundred forty-one thousandths in height. Engraved with an “E”, does not stand for ecstasy. Super-dome like in cross section. One white label, three thousandths in thickness affixed to soviet-green translucent bottle. Promises for headaches, colds, arthritis, muscle aches, sinusitis, toothache, premenstrual and menstrual cramps delineated with bullets. You can call them at 800 468 7746. Possibly made in New Jersey.

Clear plastic blister on printed cardboard backing, nineteen thousandths thick. Contents formerly four, now two. Cylindrical, five-hundred fifty-six thousandths in diameter. Length measures one thousand nine hundred and ninety-one thousandths, and one point five volts. The positive nip, two hundred and twelve thousandths in diameter. Forty-four thousandths in height. Do not connect improperly. Made in U.S.A. Ne pas installer de maniére inapproprie. Fabriqué aux É-U.

Sixteen thousandths of cardboard, folded over. One thousand five hundred twenty-one thousandths in width. One thousand eight hundred ninety-two thousandths in height (closed). Tapered, one hundred twenty three thousandths at one end, two hundred sixty nine at the other. Profile like an arrow loop. Contents formerly twenty, now sixteen. Tip contains red phosphorus, potassium chlorate, sulfur and starch, a neutralizer, siliceous filler, diatomite and glue. Certain family members consider this a delicacy. Made in New Haven.

February 9 2011 at 9 AM

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